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7 April 2004
Alpha Talk 11
How Can I Make the Most of the Rest of My
Life?
Javier A. Viera
We only get one life. We might wish for
more, but one is all we get. D.H. Lawrence said, “If only one could have two lives. The first
in which to make one’s mistakes...and the second in which to profit by them.” Alas, there are
no dress rehearsals for life; we’re on stage immediately.1
Tonight we conclude our Alpha experience by
considering the question that most of you would have started with on week one: How Can I Make
the Most of the Rest of My Life? After all, a large part of why we come to church in the first
place concerns finding a meaningful, truthful, fulfilling life. We assume that the Church and
it’s message can at least provide a direction, a positive message, a morals based experience for
our children, and a community of people who are looking for a similar kind of life. And
sometimes the Church can provide this, but most of the time we are left to search and find on
our own the kind of life that deep down inside we long for.
You know who I think does a really
outstanding job at giving people direction and purpose in life? Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is an
extraordinary organization for many reasons, but I find that they are able to talk with a
clarity and directness that the church often lacks. AA provides a language, a community, a
mentor, and twelve clear steps to lead someone into recovery. Furthermore, participants in AA
know that something is wrong, that something is missing, and that they are in need. They have
come looking to be saved, and more often than not they are. Sure, people slip, but AA is
absolutely clear that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. This is a lifelong process. It
will take a lifetime of work and commitment to recover. And perhaps most interestingly, AA is
absolutely frank about one thing– recovery can never and will never happen without God (or the
“higher-power”, to use their lingo).
It’s slightly different in the church. While
people come looking for something in church, more often than not they come looking to be
affirmed. They don’t come looking to have their life turned upside down. They don’t expect to
be challenged and confronted with difficult truths. They don’t come looking for straight talk
about God, about life, about sin, about broken-ness, about vanity, about salvation. They don’t
think that they are in need of mentors, people who have a mature relationship with God and thus
can lead them on The Way. Instead, most people who attend church in America expect that the
church should make them feel good about their lives; it should be uplifting and inspirational;
it should make them feel better about themselves; it should allow them to recreate and relive
their childhood memories that fill them with nostalgia and sentimentality; and lastly, the
church should give them simple solutions to their very difficult problems.
When did this happen? When did we start
expecting that the church should be a place where we come to feel good, rather than a place
where we come to hear truth? When did the church become a social organization, rather than the
place where we offer worship? When did the church become the place where our lives are
affirmed, rather than the place we come to find salvation from ourselves? Why did the church
become another institution, rather than a way of life? When did the church buy into the lie
that God needs us, rather than preaching the truth that we desperately need God?
I wish I had answers to these questions. And
tonight I have the monumental task of contending with their reality, while at the same time
trying to answer the question we are all asking: How Can I Make the Most of the Rest of My Life?
I’ll try to give you some direction, but as I
do so I don’t want you to hear what I say as a prescription for a better life. These aren’t
twelve steps that you accomplish and arrive at; rather, they are pointers, suggestions that may
propel us into a deeper, more meaningful, holier life. Again, using AA an example, the twelfth
step is the beginning of an even longer, richer, more challenging process. The Christian life
is no different. Once a sinner, always a sinner. Once in need of grace, always in need of
grace. No one can ever arrive at or accomplish the Christian faith, they can only come closer
and closer to the God who will grant us the peace that the world cannot give.
What should we do? Three suggestions for
living a faithful, Christian life.
1. Break from the past. It may surprise you
to hear that coming from me. Our whole religion is based on the past. I also make no secrets
of my great love of and respect for the traditions and practices of the Church. But I’m not
talking about tradition here. Instead, what I’m referring to is old ways of thinking and old
way of being. The apostle Paul writes, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world”
(by which he means a world that has shut God out). Or as J.B. Phillips translates this verse,
“Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold.” This isn’t easy; there is
pressure to conform, to be like everybody else. Especially in Westchester County. Especially
in the Church. It is very hard to be different.
In the first week of Alpha we spoke of the
Christian faith not as a set of beliefs to which one must ascent; rather, it is a way of life.
When the Church is at its best it is offering a vision of the world, a vision of life that is
counter to the vision of the world and of life that is around us. Why? Because to follow in
the way of Jesus is to value, to desire, and to aspire to things that the world deems foolish.
In the Church we say things like, “The one who loses his/her life will find it.” Or, “He who is
greatest among you shall be slave of all.” Or, “The first shall be last and the last shall be
first.” Or, “Turn the other cheek.”
Thus breaking from the past means leaving
behind old ways of thinking about what is good, valuable, worthwhile, pleasing, and reasonable.
Breaking from the past means leaving behind old ways of thinking about yourself, what you aspire
to, how you measure success, how you experience love, and what constitutes truthful living.
Not allowing the world to squeeze you into
its mold requires you knowing a different mold. The message of Jesus, the life of Jesus is just
that mold, but it too is a tough one to fit into. It requires your all; your willingness to see
your own broken-ness; your ability to let go of the former things; your commitment to forge
ahead into a different way of relating to God, your neighbor, your world; your constancy in
terms of your relationships; your generosity of resources and talents; your lack of investment
in all of the things that world around you tells you matters most.
2. Make a new start. Again, the apostle
Paul says in Romans, “Be transformed by the renewing of your minds...” Be like the chrysalis
that changes into a beautiful butterfly. At my previous church a homeless man named Gene slept
on the front stoop for years. Most days I would spend time with Gene either in the morning or
in the evening. For six long years Gene was always on the verge of getting off the street. He
was always about to get a job or about to find an apartment. One day I came to work early in
the morning and discovered that Gene wasn’t there. For three weeks I didn’t see or hear a word
from him. Then one Sunday morning the front stoop of the church was blocked once again and I
had to go through that familiar ritual of knocking of the large refrigerator box and yelling,
“Gene, I’ve got get inside and open up.”
I asked him where he had been, and he told me
that he had finally gotten a job and found a place to live. “Then why are you back,” I asked
him. “I didn’t like it. I like it better on the street. My apartment was too nice.” Gene
couldn’t make a new start. He had grown accustomed to life on the streets and was more
comfortable in box than in the open comfort of real home.
We are a lot like Gene. We grow accustomed
to settling for love that is less than it ought to be. We grow accustomed to a job that isn’t
rewarding or meaningful, but it pays the bills and provides a life that looks like the life a
Westchester family should be living. We get stuck, mired in the patterns of our lives that we
never seem able to break. We can’t break the cycle and thus we settle because what it would
take to make a new, real, significant start is more work than it’s worth.
But God calls us to be transformed. To
desire what God desires and to long for a life that is the life God intended for us in the first
place. What does such a life look like? Paul tells us that it includes the following: In
Romans 12 he says,
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil;
cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope,
patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice
hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who
rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be
willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone
evil for evil. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do
not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to
avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he
is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his
head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Sincerity, Paul says is the first step to
being transformed. The Greek word for “sincere” means “without hypocrisy,” or literally,
“without play acting” or “without a mask.” We all put up fronts and masks to protect ourselves,
or to project an image of ourselves that is other than what is real. In essence it is an
admission that “I don’t like who I am inside, so I will pretend I am somebody different.”
Perhaps you’ve seen one of my favorite
commercials. It features the smiling, suburban father gushing about his beautiful home, cars,
pool, and children only to admit at the end of the commercial with an empty smile plastered
across his face that he is up to his ears in debt. “I can’t even make my monthly minimum
payments,” he beams. "Please help me." This man is pretending to be someone he's not. He is
need of transformation. He's in need of sincerety and of a life that is free of hypocrisy and
masks.
3. Live without fear and live for God.
Easier said than done, I know, but it is one of the most frequent admonition in the gospels.
Over and over again we see someone being told to "fear not!" Many of the choices we make in
life are made out of fear. "I'll take this job because it pays well and otherwise I'm afraid I
won't have enough money to give my family the life they need or expect or deserve." Or, “I
won’t say anything because if my husband knows how I really feel, or what I really think, I’m
afraid he’ll leave me.” Or, “I want church to be what it was for me growing up because I’m
afraid of a more difficult, more challenging message.”
Fear is the singular motivating influence in
our lives, and it is the singular obstacle to a life of faith, and a truly meaningful,
fulfilling life. Why? Because fear inspires smallness, it breeds small thinking and small
acting. A fearful person lives a small, pinched life, and such a life is contrary to what God
desires and intended for us. Jesus called his followers to join him on a new, bold venture in
life. It required risk. It required a sense of adventure. It required a willingness to leave
behind all that they had previously known in order to live a life that was more interesting,
more challenging, and more truthful. And it was the kind of life that led to life eternal.
In his final address to his own congregation,
Martin Luther King, Jr. preached his famous sermon “The Drum Major Instinct.” In it he argues
that Jesus calls each of us to be like the Drum Major who leads the parade. He didn’t call us
to be cautious. He didn’t call us to be fearful. He called us to be bold, to set an example by
how we live our lives, and to be extravagant in how we live faithful lives to the glory and
honor of God. Such a life is the only life that will ultimately matter. And I end with his
words because I think they answer the question, “How Can I Make the Most of the Rest of My
Life?”
King said, “If any of you are around when I
have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the
eulogy, tell them not to talk too long. Every now and then I wonder what I want them to say.
Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize, that isn’t important. Tell them not
to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards, that’s not important. Tell them not
to mention where I went to school.
“I’d like somebody to say on that day, that
Martin Luther King, Jr. tried to give his life serving others. I’d like somebody to say on that
day, that Martin Luther King, Jr. tried to love somebody. I want you to say that day, that I
tried to be right on the war question. I want you to be able to say that day, that I did try to
feed the hungry. And I want you to be able to say that day, that I did try, in my life, to
clothe those who were naked. I want you to say that day that I did try in my life, to visit
those who were in prison. I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.
“Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum
major, say that I was a drum major for justice; say that I was drum major for peace; I was a
drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. I won’t
have any money to leave behind. I won’t have the fine and luxurious things of life to leave
behind, but I just want to leave a committed life behind.
“And that’s all I want said...if I can help
somebody as I pass along, if I can cheer somebody with a word or song, if I can show somebody
they’re traveling wrong, then my living will not be in vain. If can do my duty as a Christian
ought, if I can bring salvation to a world once wrought, if I can spread the message as the
master taught, then my living will not be in vain.
“Yes, Jesus, I want to be on right side or
your left side, not for any selfish reasons. I want to be on your right or your left side, not
in terms of some political kingdom or ambition, but I just want to be there in love and in
justice and in truth and in commitment to others, so that we can make of this old world a new
world.”
1Nicky
Gumbel. Questions of Life. Chapter 15, p. 233.
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